


Pompeii

by ethemreal



Series: Golden Slumbers [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Child Abuse, Character Study, F/M, Gen, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, POV Zuko (Avatar), Songfic, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, the maiko stuff is just whats in canon, this is the first part of a series but can be read as a standalone fic, yes I spelled 'Mai's name 'Mei' through this whole fic fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26879758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethemreal/pseuds/ethemreal
Summary: ~ I was left to my own devices ~~ Many days fell away with nothing to show ~Zuko sits alone at the pond, tossing bread to the turtleducks. Torn between relief and guilt. Afraid it might all fall apart at any second.His return to the Fire Nation wasn't shaping up like he had hoped.
Relationships: Mai/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Golden Slumbers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1961104
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Pompeii

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic of Zuko's time back in the Fire Nation in s3 e01 - e11  
> Song is Pompeii by Bastille because I could not believe no one had written this yet
> 
> not yet beta'd- they're getting back to me soon!

_Home. I’m headed home._

Zuko stands alone on the deck of a royal Fire Navy ship, leaning against the railing. The moon is full, and the night is cold. The breeze blows softly through his hair and robes, and dark clouds move slowly overhead.

_Will Father really want me back home? Last time I thought he would, it was just Azula lying. Azula always lies, yet here I am trusting her again._

_It’s been so long since I left. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Father._

"Aren't you cold?"

Zuko glances sideways at Mei, trying not to show surprise. He’d been so wrapped up in thought he hadn't heard her walk up behind him.

"I've got a lot on my mind. It's been so long, over 3 years since I was home." He looks down, away from her.

_I’ve spent most of the year living as a peasant. I worked in a tea shop. Uncle Iroh…_

"I wonder what's changed. I wonder how I've changed." He turns his head farther from Mei.

_She hasn’t changed._

Mei yawns "I just asked if you were cold, I didn't ask for your whole life story."- She walks up behind Zuko and wraps her arms around him.

"Stop worrying." She puts a hand on the side of his face, touching his scar, and kisses him. Removing her arms from around him she walks away, leaving him alone again on the deck, staring at the moon.

When they arrive in Capital City he’s reminded of all the fuss, all the pomp and circumstance, that comes with being royalty.

Zuko stands in the hall behind Azula. He can’t shake his nerves. In a minute he will be announced by Lo and Li, Azula’s advisors, and will step forward to the balcony overlooking the Capital’s port. He can hear the crowd indistinctly in the distance, and Lo and Li’s voices cut through the walls like a sword.

"Your princess Azula, clever and beautiful, disguised herself as the enemy, and entered the Earth Kingdom capital. In Ba Sing Se she found her brother Zuko, and together they faced the Avatar. And the Avatar fell! And the Earth Kingdom fell! Azula's agents quickly overtook the entire city. They went to Ba Sing Se's great wall and brought them down! The armies of the Fire Nation surged through the wall and swarmed over Ba Sing Se, securing our victory. Now the heroes have returned home. Your princess: Azula!"

She walks out of the hall, and steps pridefully forward to the edge of the balcony as the crowd cheers.

Zuko walks to the spot in the hall she just vacated, aware of how his feet are treading where hers were, how he is second to be announced, second best. A fire burns at the end of the hallway, behind where he stands now. It’s meant to inspire awe and fear in the citizens looking up at them, but Zuko supposes it’s inspiring those feelings in himself instead.

_There she goes, getting the spotlight, getting all the attention and glory she deserves. What am I even doing here? I just spent 3 years banished. I spent most of the last year living as a peasant, working in a tea shop. I shouldn’t be up here. They're going to announce me and I'm going to walk out there and get booed off stage. They all must hate me._

"And after 3 long years, your prince has returned: Zuko!"

_Agni, here goes._

He walks forward, eyes down. He watches his feet, feeling almost like he isn’t even controlling them. As he comes to stand above the people he realises they are cheering his return. He lifts his head, looking out over the crowd, and the scowl he had been wearing softens.

_They're… cheering? Okay. Okay I can do this. They accept me, it's not all bad. Maybe father really does want me back._

· I was left to my own devices ·  
· Many days fell away with nothing to show ·

Zuko sits alone at the pond, tossing bread to the turtleducks. Torn between relief and guilt. Afraid it might all fall apart at any second.

_It’s so strange to be back. It’s all so… familiar. And yet so strange. Father hasn’t seen me yet, Mother is still gone, Azula is still… Azula. All I have is my crown and my memories. It still doesn’t feel like home, not without mom, not without Uncle. I don’t know why, but I almost expected mom to be here._

_I wonder what she would think of me. After all these years, after all the things I’ve done and the ways I’ve changed- would she still… love me?_

_How can I even ask myself that?! Mom was_ **_good_ ** _. She loved me through everything, she wouldn’t… Uncle may have betrayed me in Ba Sing Se, but Mother would have understood. If she were here, she would sit and feed the turtleducks with me. She would make Father see me._

Azula walks up, and the turtleducks flee. _Just like when we were kids._

"You seem so downcast. Has Mei gotten to you already? Though actually Mei has been in a strangely good mood lately."

"I haven't seen dad yet. I haven't seen him in 3 years. Since I was banished."

"So what?"

"So. I didn't capture the Avatar."

"Who cares. The Avatar is dead." Zuko looks away, as Azula eyes him suspiciously "Unless, you think he somehow miraculously survived?"

> _Zuko and Katara talked in the caves under Ba Sing Se. They realised that they had more in common than they thought. After Zuko told her that he had also lost his mother, Katara apologized for having thought of his face as the face of the enemy._
> 
> _“My face. I see.”_
> 
> _“No, no, that’s not what I meant.”_
> 
> _“It’s okay. I used to think this scar marked me. The mark of the banished Prince, cursed to chase the Avatar forever, but lately I’ve realised I’m free to determine my own destiny, even if I’ll never be free of my mark.”_
> 
> _“Maybe you could be free of it.”_
> 
> _“What?”_
> 
> _“I have healing abilities.”_
> 
> _“It's a scar, it can’t be healed.”_
> 
> _Katar pulled a tiny jar from under her robe._
> 
> _“This is water from the spirit oasis at the north pole. It has special properties, so I’ve been saving it for something important. I don’t know if it would work, but…”_
> 
> _She reached out to touch the scar, but as they stood there the wall of the cave crashed in. The Avatar and Uncle Iroh were there._

_I don’t know if it could save the Avatar... but I don’t have to tell Azula that. She’ll just find a way to use it against me._ "No. There's no way he could have survived."

_He could have survived. I could have betrayed Iroh for nothing. If he did survive, and Father finds out-_

Azula stares him down as if she can see his lie "Well, then I'm sure you have nothing to worry about." She turns and walks away.

· And the walls kept tumbling down ·  
· In the city that we love ·

The hallway to the throne room is long and imposing. At one end hangs the tapestry of Ozai, and at the other hangs a curtain with the fire nation insignia.

Zuko walks down the hall, alone. His Father’s image looms large behind him, and the man himself is waiting ahead. Zuko reaches the curtain and takes a deep breath: afraid, and then resigned.

_I can do this. I can face him._

_I have to._

He parts the curtain and steps through, cloth sliding over his shoulder, and sees his father on the throne. The wall of fire in front of Ozai flickers in his eyes.

> _Zuko kneeled on one side of an arena, ceremonial cloth draped across his back. He stood and turned, and the cloth slid off his shoulders and fell to the ground behind him. As he rose, turning, he saw his Father._
> 
> _Zuko’s eyes as they widened with realization and fear, the flames of the torches that lined the arena flickering in them._

_He looks the same as the day he… as the day I… Agni, I can’t turn back now._

Swallowing the fear he approaches the fire, approaches his father’s feet, and kneels down to bow his head to the floor.

> _Zuko pleaded for forgiveness, as Ozai walked towards him. He tried to forfeit, falling to his knees. As his father demanded he fight, Zuko bent over, prostrated himself on the ground, and refused. He begged for mercy._

_Don’t let it be the same._

"You have been away for a long time. I see the weight of your travels has changed you. You have redeemed yourself, my son."

Zuko sits up from his bow as Ozai steps forward through the fire.

> _Zuko looked up, tears streaming down his face, and then all he saw was the fire burning._

"Welcome home." Ozai turns in front of him, paces around his kneeling form. He slowly circles Zuko, on the left, on the side of his scar.

"I am proud of you Prince Zuko. I am proud because you and your sister conquered Ba Sing Se. I am proud because when your loyalty was tested by your treacherous Uncle, you did the right thing and captured the traitor. And I am proudest of all of your most legendary accomplishment.”

He comes to a stop standing just behind Zuko “You slayed the Avatar."

· Grey clouds roll over the hills ·  
· Bringing darkness from above ·

Zuko turns his head left, his scar facing towards Ozai, but keeps his eyes forward.

> _In the caves beneath Ba Sing Se, Azula and Zuko had taken down Katara together, and the Dai Li agents had come in as reinforcements, when the Avatar made a dome out of crystal, and went into the Avatar state. The crystal glowed, and shattered open, as the Avatar rose from it in a pillar of light._
> 
> _Zuko heard a crackling from beside him, as Azula shot the Avatar down with lighting. He fell to the ground, smoke drifting off of him. Katara rode forward on a wave to catch him. She held him in her arms, crying, and Iroh sent a blast of fire and jumped down from a ledge to stand between Zuko and the Avatar. Iroh held them off just long enough for Katara to get the Avatar out of there, and then stood still and allowed himself to be captured._

"What did you hear?" He hopes his voice doesn't give it away, that his Father didn't hear it waver.

"Azula told me everything. She said she was amazed and impressed with your power and ferocity at the moment of truth."

_Why? Why would she tell him I killed the Avatar? She didn't even seem to be sure he's dead, and she has less cause to think that then I do. Why would she lie about this?_

· But if you close your eyes ·  
· Does it almost feel like ·  
· Nothing changed at all? ·

 _Why would she lie to Father?_ **_How_ ** _could she lie to Father?_

Zuko opens Azula’s door "Why did you do it?"

She’s laying in bed, and doesn’t move at all as she replies "You're going to have to be a little more specific."

_She knows what I mean. She’s toying with me._

"Why did you tell Father that I was the one who killed the Avatar." He walks forward into the room, stopping halfway to the foot of her bed.

"Can't this wait until morning?"

"It. Can't."

She sighs, more for the effect than out of actual frustration "Fine." Sitting up she looks at her nails "You seemed so worried about how father would treat you because you hadn't captured the Avatar. I figured if I gave you the credit you'd have nothing to worry about." Her voice lilts at the last sentence, attempting to give an impression of **caring**.

_As though I’d believe that._

"But why."

She pulls aside her blanket, and steps out of bed "Call it a generous gesture. I wanted to thank you for your help and I was happy to share the glory."

"You're lying."

Azula walks past him, to stand between him and her bedroom door "If you say so."

"You have another motive for doing this, I just haven't figured out what it is."

_Azula always lies._

"Please, Zuko. What ulterior motive could I have?" She stretches her arms, turns to face him, and puts a hand on her chin like she’s thinking "What could I possibly gain by letting you get all the glory for defeating the Avatar?"

_Azula always lies._

She steps up to him and puts a hand on his shoulder "Unless, somehow, the Avatar was actually alive."

His brain skids to a halt.

_She knows._

She walks back past him, to bed again "All that glory would suddenly turn to shame and foolishness."

Zuko’s eyes go wide, and then his face sours at her words. 

_So it’s a threat._

She sits on the edge of her bed "But, you said yourself that was impossible." Zuko turns and starts walking to the door "Sleep well Zuzu." She sets her head onto her pillow, smug.

· And if you close your eyes ·  
· Does it almost feel like ·  
· You've been here before? ·

Zuko tosses and turns in his bed that night. He struggles with his fear and uncertainty until there is nothing left but for him to do what he has avoided. His eyes snap open with decision, and getting up he grabs a robe that can cover most of his head.

The walk to prison is far, all the way out of the city from the Palace at its center, and up the rocky cliff sides of the caldera. It lay on the other side of a small chasm with only one bridge, where it spirals further up the mountainside. The doorway seems to loom before him, somehow both threatening and beckoning.

As he stands still, struck again by the fear and uncertainty that had wracked his sleep, a guard walks by on an upper level. Seeing Zuko he yells down "Who's there?"

Zuko turns and walks away, with his head down and a soft shuffle to his steps.

· How am I gonna be an optimist about this? ·

After a brief planning session just out of sight of the prison, Zuko goes in for another attempt. He slips into the walkways unnoticed, feet padding softly on the stones as he comes up behind a guard.

The guard turns at his approach, and then falls into a readied crouch, brandishing his spear. "You again! Stop where you are!" 

Zuko tilts his head up, looking the guard in his eyes as he keeps walking forward.

The guard sees his scar and gasps "Prince Zuko". He stands from his fighting stance, taking two short steps backwards and lowering his spear as Zuko walks right up to him.

Zuko grabs him and slams him against the wall, spear clattering at his feet.

"I'm going in for a visit. You're going to stand guard here. And **no one** is going to know about this." He drops the guard, who looks stunned and stands there staring after Zuko, spear still laying uselessly on the ground.

Zuko walks into the room with Iroh’s cell, and steps up to the bars. 

"Uncle. It's me" he says, lowering his hood, and Iroh turns to face away.

_He won’t even look at me?_

"You brought this on yourself, you know. We could have returned together, you could have been a **hero**!" 

_I could have had him too. If he had come with me, we could both be home._

Iroh shifts slightly, not responding.

"You have no right to judge me, Uncle. I did what I had to do in Ba Sing Se, and you're a fool for not joining me." His voice is full of anger and resentment. Full of the indignant fury of a boy who had made the only choice he thought there was, facing a man who took a different path.

> _Azula sat in the throne at Ba Sing Se, having taken over the city. Zuko stood beside her, but it didn’t feel like a victory to him._
> 
> _“I betrayed Uncle.”_
> 
> _Azula looked at him. “No, he betrayed you.”_

"You're not going to say anything?!" Zuko only lets his words hang in the air for a moment before he turns to the side, anger on his face. He kicks a stool into the air, and punches it with a fist and fire, smashing it into the wall while yelling.

"You're a crazy old man! You're crazy! And if you weren't in jail you'd be sleeping in a gutter!" Zuko’s voice is rough and loud, he sounds gutted as he screams at his Uncle. He turns and leaves, robe swirling in the air behind him like it thinks he’s right. When he slams the door he doesn’t look back, like **he** thinks he’s right.

· How am I gonna be an optimist about this? ·

"Orange is such an awful color"

The view of the sunset from the rim of Caldera is beautiful. The heat of summer hovers in the air as the light sinks into the ocean. Mei leans on Zuko, comfortable in their togetherness, the remains of their picnic set aside.

Zuko chuckles fondly "You're so beautiful when you hate the world."

"I don't hate you."

"I don't hate you too."

They turn to each other, and kiss softly, Zuko leaning into her like she’s the only part of his life that feels like home. Then they hear the sound of Azula clearing her throat.

"A-hem. Zuko, could I have a word with you?"

He glares at her "Can't you see we're busy." they go back to kissing, on his part perhaps more out of spite than desire.

"Oh Mei, Ty Lee needs your help untangling her braid."

_Oh, that’s definitely a lie._

"Sounds pretty serious." She gets up and walks away, looking neither at Zuko nor Azula.

Zuko watches her leave in silence, and as she steps down the path from the cliff he turns his gaze on his sister, glaring in annoyance.

_I was having a nice evening, for once._

"So, I hear you've been to visit your Uncle fatso in the prison tower."

Zuko stands up and clenches his fists in anger "That guard told you!"

"No, you did. Just now."

_Damn it._

"Okay. You caught me.” He sits back down, crossing his arms and looking away “What is it that you want Azula?" 

"Actually nothing.” She shrugs her shoulders slightly, voice as sweet as honey, intended for catching flies “Believe it or not I'm looking out for you. If people find out you've been to see Uncle they'll think you're plotting with him. Just be careful dum dum."

· We were caught up and lost in all of our vices ·  
· In your pose as the dust settles around us ·

Despite Azula’s “advice” Zuko goes to visit Iroh again. He kneels on the floor outside the cell, and slides a container through the prison bars.

"I brought you some komodo-chicken. I know you don't care for it, but I figure it beats prison food. I admit it. I have everything I always wanted, but it's not at all how I thought it would be. The truth is, I need your advice." 

His voice is sorrowful, soft and full of regrets he won’t acknowledge- **can’t** acknowledge. He grabs the bars of the prison, tense and desperate.

"I think the Avatar is still alive. I know he's out there. I'm losing my mind. Please Uncle, I'm so confused! I need your help!" His voice gets higher as he speaks, practically begging, eyes wide.

When he gets no response he stands up, hands clenched in fists inside his sleeves, and yells "Forget it, I'll solve this myself!” He swings his left arm, more like a dismissal than a punch, but full of his frustration all the same “Waste away in here for all I care." 

He turns and walks away, but pauses at the door. He looks back over his shoulder, conflicted, before turning away again. The door shuts softly behind him like it’s trying to apologize.

· And the walls kept tumbling down ·  
· In the city that we love ·

Zuko walks alone behind industrial buildings, next to railroad tracks. He comes to a stop at a predetermined spot, and lowers his hood. Behind him, a door opens.

_This is the right thing to do._

Zuko turns to face Combustion Man. The low light streaming from the door he stepped out of glints off his metal hand.

"You're sure you weren't followed?” Zuko asks before he can stop himself. It’s a stupid question, and so he keeps talking without waiting for a reply “I've heard about you. They say you're good at what you do. And even better at keeping secrets. The Avatar is alive. I want you to find him- and **end** him."

_That will solve that. I have nothing to worry about. I'm home, my father accepts me, and the Avatar won't be a problem soon. Uncle was wrong to not join me. I made the right decision. I'm home._

· Grey clouds roll over the hills ·  
· Bringing darkness from above ·

Zuko and Azula are being sent away for the weekend. Mei and Ty Lee are going with them to Ember Island, and while Zuko’s glad to have Mei with him, he’d rather just get to stay in Caldera.

“I’m so excited to spend the weekend on Ember Island. It’s gonna be great to hang out on the beach and do nothing.” Ty Lee leans forward on the railing of the boat, next to Azula. Behind her Zuko and Mei sit side by side, not touching, and both looking rather put upon.

“Doing nothing is a waste of time. We're being sent away on a forced vacation, I feel like a child.” Zuko complains, and he stands up and goes to look over the edge of the boat.

“Lighten up. So dad wants to meet with his advisors alone, without anyone else around. Don’t take it personally.” Azula sounds scornful.

“Doesn’t your family have a house on Ember Island?” Ty Lee bounces on her toes as she asks.

“We used to come every summer when we were kids.” Azula smiles, a little too proudly to quite seem wistful.

_That was a long time ago._

“That must have been fun.” Ty Lee says.

“That was a long time ago.” Zuko murmurs, staring out at the sea.

They arrive at Ember Island, and are greeted by Lo and Li. The dock is tiny and the house is barely any bigger.

“Welcome to Ember Island kids.” Lo and Li say in unison.

_They’re so creepy._

As they step into the house Zuko gags. Everything is pink, and- “It smells like old lady in here.”

“Gee, I wonder why.” Mei replies in montone.

Zuko and Mei shuffle uncomfortably after Ty Lee and Azula to the room they'll be staying in.

Ty Lee flops down on a bed happily "Ooh, I love this seashell bedspread!"

"Are you serious? It looks like the beach threw up all over it." Mei looks truly disgusted.

Lo and Li start talking, taking turns with each few words "We know you are upset that you were forced to come here this weekend. But Ember Island is a magical place. Keep an open mind, give it a chance, and it can help you understand yourself and each other. The beach has a special way of smoothing even the most ragged edges."

Their day on the beach started out with Zuko doing everything right, he held a parasol for Mei as they walked to the beach, and then he spotted a seashell and held it out to Mei.

"Here, this is for you."

"Why would I want that?"

"I saw it and I thought it was pretty. Don't girls like stuff like this?"

"Maybe stupid girls." She looks away.

"Forget it!" He yells and throws the seashell away.

_Okay, maybe that was the wrong thing to do, and I should have known. It’s not her fault I’m bad at this, I should try again._

So Zuko goes and gets them ice cream.

"I thought since it's so hot: here." He holds the ice cream cone out to her, but the ice cream falls off the top and lands on her lap.

"Thanks. This is really… refreshing."

He wants to go bury his head in the sand. 

_Why am I messing everything up? I wish things weren’t so weird with Mei. She doesn't like anything I do. No, it’s not my fault, she’s always been grumpy._

They sit there in silence for a while, until Azula spots a game of volleyball, and her voice rings out. "Hey beach bums, we're playing next. Ty Lee, get over here now!"

Ty Lee gets up and walks over on her hands, and Azula gathers them all together in a circle.

Azula grins as she explains her plan "See that girl with the silly pigtails? When she runs towards the ball there's just the slightest hesitation of her left foot. I'm willing to bet a childhood injury has weakened her. Keep serving the ball to her left and we'll destroy her and the rest of her team. Dismissed."

They win. The net is on fire.

Azula’s eyes glint with her victory "Yes. We defeated you for all time. You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation!” her voice shifts to something lighter as she says “-that was fun."

Some random guys walk over, and one says to Ty Lee “I’m having a party tonight. You should come by.”

“Sure! I love parties!”

The other guy chimes in “Your friend can come too.” He looks at Mei while he says it.

Azula steps forward, upset “Uh, what about me and my brother. Aren’t you going to invite us? You don’t know who we are, do you?”

“Don’t you know who **we** are? We’re Chan and Ruon-Jian.” Chan says.

“Yeah.” the guy who invited Mei, apparently Ruon-Jian, interjects.

Zuko stomps forward, indignant at their ignorance, but Azula stops him.

“But, fine, you're invited. Just so you know though, some of the most important teenagers in the Fire Nation are gonna be at this party, so, try and act normal.”

“We’ll do our best.” Azula smiles menacingly.

When they’re having dinner later, back at Lo and Li's, Zuko asks Azula "Why didn't you tell those guys who we were?"

"Because I was intrigued. I'm so used to people worshipping us-"

"They should!" Ty Lee interjects, indignant on her behalf.

"- yes, I know. And I love it. But for once I just wanted to see how people would treat us if they didn't know who we were."

Lo and Li, cryptic as always, say "Like waves washing away the footprints on the sand, Ember Island gives everyone a clean slate. Ember Island reveals the true you."

As the sun sets they go to the party. Azula knocks on the door.

Chan opens it. "Um, you're a little early. No one's here yet."

Azula looks at him, confused "I heard you telling someone you'd be partying from dusk ‘til dawn. It's dusk. So we're here."

"But that's just an expression."

"We are the perfect party guests, we arrive right on time, because we are very punctual." She chops one hand down onto the other as she speaks, punctuating her use of the word punctual.

Chan shrugs, and lets them in. "Alright listen, my dad’s an Admiral, he has no idea I'm having this party so don't mess anything up."

Ruon-Jian looks over from where he was doing his hair in a mirror "Hey, first one's here huh?"

Zuko scoffs, "he thinks he's so great. Well? What do you think of him?"

Mei shrugs "I don't have any opinion about him. I hardly know him."

"You like him don't you."

She sighs in exasperation as she keeps walking, and Zuko turns to glare at him.

_Ugh does she like that guy? What, am I not good enough! I killed the Avatar! Well, I didn't, but she doesn't know that. Wait, should I tell her? No, that’s a bad idea, if he is it would just put her in danger, and if he isn’t it would just worry her. And besides, I sent that assassin after him._

Zuko continues pondering as he and Mei sit on a bench in the house. Other guests start arriving at the party as they sit in silence. They aren’t touching, despite Zuko’s arm being draped across the back of the bench behind her.

"I'm bored."

"I know." Zuko replies, voice almost as toneless as Mei’s.

"I'm hungry."

"So what?" 

"So, find me some food."

"Sure." Zuko pulls his arm back from around her, and goes to pick out some food. As he's walking back to Mei, someone accidentally knocks it out of his hands.

"Hey, watch it! That food was for my cranky girlfriend!" Zuko points at her as he talks, and in pointing he looks and sees Ruon-Jian over there talking to her. Zuko runs over and pulls him away from her, sending him spinning across the room and standing where he had been.

"What are you doing?" Ruon-Jian asks angrily, reorienting himself and adjusting his hair.

"Stop talking to my girlfriend."

"Relax. It's just a party." He says walking up to Zuko.

Zuko shoves him all the way across the room with one hand, and he lands on a vase, breaking it.

"Zuko, what is wrong with you?!" Mei says, standing up and grabbing his shoulder to turn him to face her.

"What's wrong with me?!"

"Your temper is out of control. You blow up at every little thing. You're so impatient, and hotheaded, and angry."

"Well at least I feel something, as opposed to you. You have no passion for anything! You're just a big blah!"

Mei turns away. "It's over Zuko. We're done."

_Why doesn't she care about anything?_

Hearing the commotion, Chan runs over. "Who broke my nana's vase?!"

Ruon-Jian points at Zuko.

Chan runs over "That's it. You're outta here."

"I was just leaving."

"Have fun by yourself, loser boy!" Ruon-Jian jeers after him.

"Nice." Chan says.

Zuko walks out of the house, and slams the door behind him without looking back.

The moon shines down on Zuko as he walks across the beach alone. As he comes around a rock, the royal family vacation house comes into view. It looms large over the rolling hills and sandy beach, a monument to opulence, soaked in happy memories that have turned bitter with the tides of time.

_I don’t think those memories will ever feel truly happy again, not after everything that’s happened. Not after mom’s disappearance, and Father’s cruelty._

He walks up the hill, fighting the dual weight of gravity and the past. He tries to open the front door, it rattles slightly but doesn’t give, so he kicks it open. The moon silhouettes Zuko, beams of light visible in the dusty air.

At the top of the stairs there's an old portrait. A painting of the 4 of them together, a **family**. It should be a happy image, but somehow mom looks somber, perhaps even sad.

He remembers her laughing and smiling, when he was a child here in the house with her, making a handprint in clay. It sits on the shelf beneath the painting. He picks it up, and places his hand atop the imprint of it from so many years ago.

_It’s so… tiny. How was I ever so small? I was still small when I was banished. I practically grew up on the Wani. How could Father have done that? It was cruel._

He has to leave, has to get out of this old house, out from under this roof and the weight of the past. He takes the handprint with him, a little piece of who he was, once. A ceramic memory. He sits down on the front porch and stares at it.

 _Is this normal? Is this what life is supposed to be? This isn't what I expected, it isn't what I wanted- but is it what I_ **_should_ ** _want? I have my family, I have Mei, but- I'm so Angry._

_I remember what it used to be like. When we were young, when we still had Mom._

"I thought I'd find you here." Azula’s voice cuts through him like a knife to the heart.

"Those summers we spent here seem so long ago. So much has changed." He sets down the handprint.

"Come down to the beach with me. Come on, this place is depressing."

· But if you close your eyes ·

Mei and Ty Lee are already at the beach, sitting on a circle of rocks around a firepit. There isn’t a fire in it, it’s empty and cold.

Mei glances at him "Hey."

"Where's your new boyfriend?" Zuko snaps, and she looks away. A pang of guilt hits him.

_I shouldn’t be so mean._

He walks over and sits beside her "Are you cold?" He reaches an arm out to hold her, but she slaps his hand away. 

Ty Lee chimes in "I'm freezing!"

He smiles at her "I'll make a fire. There's plenty of stuff to burn in there."

Zuko comes back from the old house with a chair, and one piece of paper. He drops it next to the firepit, and breaks the chair apart. He tosses it into the pit, and with a short gesture bends it alight. Then he throws the paper on top.

"What are you doing?" Ty Lee asks, upset.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He pushes down the feeling in his chest, arms crossed over it.

"But, it's a painting of your family."

"You think I care?"

"I think you do."

"You don't know me, so why don't you just mind your own business." He uncrosses his arms and turns away.

She sighs "I know you." she says quietly.

He turns back to her "No you don't! You're stuck in your little Ty Lee world: where everything’s great all the time!"

"Zuko! Leave her alone." Mei sounds angry, there’s actually emotion in her words.

"I'm so pretty, look at me" he walks a few steps away, and does a handstand "I can walk on my hands! Whoo!" Zuko falls onto his back in the sand. Acid in his voice he spits out "Circus freak."

Azula laughs, but stops abruptly when Ty Lee starts talking.

"Yes. I'm a circus freak. Go ahead and laugh, all you want. You wanna know why I joined the circus?" She sounds angry, her eyes watering.

"Here we go.." Azula sighs, grimacing.

"Do you have any idea what my home life was like? Growing up with 6 sisters who look exactly like me? It was like I didn't even have my own name!" Her voice wavers as she starts crying and collapses to her knees. "I joined the circus because I was scared of spending the rest of my life as part of a matched set. At least I'm different now. Circus freak is a **compliment**."

"Guess that explains why you need 10 boyfriends too" Mei says with disdain.

"I'm sorry, what?" Ty Lee plants her hands on her hips.

"Attention issues? You couldn't get enough attention when you were a kid, so, you're trying to make up for it now."

"Well! What's **your** excuse Mei? You were an only child for 15 years, but even with all that attention your aura is this dingy pasty grey-!"

"I don't believe in auras."

"Yeah." Zuko gets up from the sand. "You don't believe in anything"

"Oh well, I'm sorry I can't be as high strung and crazy as the rest of you."

"I'm sorry too. I wish you would be high strung and crazy for once, instead of keeping all your feelings bottled up inside." Zuko walks towards Mei with his arms stretched out at his sides, and gestures at Ty Lee "She just called your aura dingy. Are you gonna take that?"

Mei lays backwards onto the rock she's sitting on, and stares up at the stars. "What do you want from me? You want a teary confession about how hard my childhood was? Well it wasn't. I was a rich only child who got anything I wanted. As long as I behaved. And sat still. And didn't speak unless spoken to. My mother said I had to keep out of trouble. We had my dad's political career to think about."

"Well that's it then. You had a controlling mother who had certain expectations and if you strayed from them you were shut down. That's why you're afraid to care about anything, and why you can't express yourself." Azula says smugly.

Mei sits up "You want me to express myself? **Leave me alone!** " She shouts as she stands, hands clenched into fists at her sides.

"I like it when you express yourself" Zuko smiles, stepping towards Mei with a hand outstretched towards her shoulder.

"Don't touch me! I'm still mad at you." Mei shoves his hand away, and sits back down.

"My life hasn't been that easy either Mei"

"Whatever! That doesn't excuse the way you've been acting."

Ty Lee interjects "Calm down you guys. This much negative energy is bad for your skin. You'll totally break out."

_How dare she!_

"Bad skin?! Normal teenagers worry about bad skin! I don't have that luxury. My father decided to teach me a permanent lesson: on my **face**."

Ty Lee gets quiet. "I'm sorry Zuko… I-"

"For so long I thought that if my dad accepted me I'd be happy. I'm back home now, my dad talks to me. Ha, he even thinks I'm a hero! Everything should be perfect, right? I should be happy now. But I'm not! I'm angrier than ever and I don't know why!"

Azula’s lips quirk upwards in a small smile as he talks, but she hides it before she asks "There's a simple question you need to answer then: who are you angry at?"

"No one! I'm just Angry."

_I said too much._

"Yeah, who are you angry at Zuko?" Mei asks, her tone accusatory.

"Everyone! I don't know!" He grabs his head with both hands.

"Is it dad?" Azula’s voice is soft and understanding as she asks.

_It should be, but it isn't._

"No, no."

"Your Uncle?" Ty Lee suggests.

_No, not Uncle, never Uncle._

"Me?" Azula’s voice pitches up, like it would hurt if he said yes, but still accepting.

"No, no no, no!"

"Then who? Who are you angry at?"  
"Answer the question Zuko."  
"Talk to us."  
"Come on, answer the question."  
"Come on, answer it."  
Their voices overlap, overwhelming and pressuring him until he explodes.

"I'm angry at myself!" Zuko punches downwards, fire trailing behind his fists in streaks through the air, and the campfire bursts into a pillar of flame. The others all lean back from the fire, shielding their faces from the light and heat of it. Sparks fly off the sides, dancing in the air in front of Zuko’s face, and after a moment the flame dies back down to a normal campfire size.

He turns away from them.

"Why?" Azula practically whispers the question.

"Because I'm confused. Because I'm not sure I know the difference between right and wrong anymore." He shakes his head as he speaks.

"You're pathetic." Azula chuckles.

Mei walks up to Zuko, and puts a hand on his back. "I know one thing I care about. I care about you." They smile at each other, and kiss sweetly- only to be cut off by the sound of Azula clapping. Zuko turns to face her as she speaks.

"Well, those were wonderful performances everyone." 

_Agni, Azula is the worst._

"I guess you wouldn't understand, would you Azula. Because you're just so perfect." His voice is dripping with sarcasm, and Mei is clinging to his side.

"Well yes, I guess you're right. I don't have sob stories like all of you. I could sit here and complain how our mom liked Zuko more than me but I don't really care.” She pauses, and stares into the flames “My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right of course, but it still hurt."

Ty Lee picks up a rock and rubs it. "What Lo and Li said came true. The beach did help us learn about ourselves. I feel so smoothed. I'll always remember this."

"You know what would make this trip **really** memorable?" Azula asks, raising an eyebrow.

They go back to Chan’s house, and Zuko takes a moment to strike a sullen pose with his arms crossed over his chest while Azula knocks on the door. It opens, and Chan looks confused.

"We've got some bad news Chan." Azula smiles menacingly.

Zuko turns his head sharply. "Party's over."

They bust in, Zuko breaks a vase as the girls go off to wreak their own havoc, and then he kicks a table in half.

_At least I get an outlet for my anger tonight._

Moments later, Zuko smells smoke.

_Of course. Azula._

· Does it almost feel like ·  
· Nothing changed at all? ·

Zuko’s been back in Caldera for a few days after the visit to Ember Island, his life slowly getting back to normal. He should have known it wouldn’t last long.

He’s laying in bed, half asleep, when he hears a sound in the hall. Jumping out of bed he runs and throws open his door, just in time to see someone disappear around the corner at the end of the hall. They’re too far to chase, but he steps forward to try anyway when he sees something: a scroll propped up against the wall beside his door.

Opening it he reads: "You need to know the story of your great grandfather's demise, it will reveal your own destiny."

Later that day, after the sun has risen and everyone is going about their business, Zuko finds himself standing in front of the tapestry of Sozin.

"It's never too early for a sitting with the court painter Zuko. Make sure he gets your good side." Azula quips while walking by him.

"Wait, I need to ask you something. What do you remember about our great grandfather's history"

"Oh Zuko, it's so strange how your mind works. Fire Lord Sozin began the war, of course. He spent his early years secretly preparing for it, he was as patient as he was clever. He famously waited for the comet, later renamed Sozin's comet, and used its power to launch his full scale invasion of the world. In the end he died a very old and successful man."

"But how did he die?"

"Didn't you pay any attention in school, Zuko? He died peacefully, in his sleep. He was ancient."

_Well that doesn't make any sense._

That night Zuko lays in bed and tries to think.

_What does it mean? Great-grandfather died peacefully in his sleep. How could the ‘story of his demise’ reveal my destiny? Am I destined to die peacefully in My sleep? That doesn’t make any sense!_

He groans, and says out loud to the empty room “What does it mean?” He tosses the note aside, and it drapes over his lamp. After a moment the note seems to change, the heat revealing secret lettering.

He gasps and sits up, grabbing the scroll from off the lamp to read it: "the Fire Sages keep the secret history in the dragon bone catacombs."

Getting up he puts his robe on again, the one with a hood to hide his face, and sneaks into the Fire Temple. He watches from behind a pillar as a Fire Sage opens the entrance to the catacombs and goes inside, closing it after him.

He waits. Hours later, the moon full in the sky, Zuko goes in. The passages in the Fire Temple are all opened with firebending- he looks to make sure no one is around to see him open the spiral staircase down into the catacombs.

Giant dragon skulls line each side of the hall, empty eye sockets passing judgment on the Fire Prince walking between them, the heir to his great grandfather’s legacy of hunting them. A statue of Sozin at the end of the hall looms large over him, seeming to pass its own judgment. Zuko bends fire into the Fire Nation insignia on its chest, and the fire pours out of Sozin’s eyes and mouth as it opens. 

Behind it a statue of a dragon watches over scrolls: "the final testament of Fire Lord Sozin"

Zuko sits down and begins to read:

> _As I feel my own life dimming, I can't help but think of a time when everything was so much brighter. I remember my friend._
> 
> _Roku and I grew up together, we shared many things in life, including a birthday. On our 16th birthday, the Fire Sages came up to us. I feared the worst, that something had happened to my father, but they were there to announce the identity of the next Avatar: Roku._
> 
> _Soon the day came when my friend Roku had to leave the Fire Nation and face his destiny as the Avatar. He needed to travel the world so he could master the other elements._ _I found him in his room, sitting on his bed beside his bag, which he had not yet packed. I asked him why, and he told me that the Fire Sages said he would not need any earthly possessions._
> 
> _I sat beside him, and took off my crown. “Here.” I told him “I hope you're at least allowed to have this”_
> 
> _“But this is a royal artifact. It's supposed to be worn by the crown prince”_
> 
> _“I want you to have it”_
> 
> _Roku accepted, and put it on. He wore it for the rest of his life._
> 
> _Twelve long years passed before I saw my friend again. When Roku returned he was a fully realised Avatar. And I had changed as well._ _But even with the distance of time and my station as Fire Lord, he was still my best friend._
> 
> _Roku got married a few months later. He asked me to be his best man._
> 
> _On wedding days, we look to the future with optimism and joy. I had my own vision for a brighter future._ _To that end I asked to speak with him alone for a moment._
> 
> _We walked up to the balcony, the sun just setting and the sky alive with the last fire of the day. I told him “I’ve been thinking hard about the state of the world lately.”_
> 
> _“Sozin, it’s my wedding! Have a cookie, dance with someone, lighten up.”_
> 
> _“I know, I know, but, just hear me out. Right from the start I was destined to be Fire Lord, and although we didn’t always know it, you were destined to be the Avatar. It’s an amazing stroke of fate we know each other so well, isn’t it? Together we could do… anything!”_
> 
> _“Yeah, we could.”_
> 
> _“Our nation is enjoying an unprecedented time of peace and wealth. Our people are happy, and we are so fortunate in so many ways.”_
> 
> _“Where are you going with this?”_
> 
> _“I’ve been thinking, we should share this prosperity with the rest of the world. In our hands is the most successful empire in history, it’s time we expanded it.”_
> 
> _“No. The four nations are meant to be just that, four!”_
> 
> _“Roku, you haven’t even stopped to consider the possibilities!”_
> 
> _“There are no possibilities. This is the last I want to hear about this.”_
> 
> _We parted on that balcony. Years passed, and I pursued my goals without him, until one day he burst into my throne room with a fury in his eyes._
> 
> _“I’ve seen the colonies, Sozin. How dare you occupy Earth Kingdom territory!”_
> 
> _“How dare you, a citizen of the Fire Nation, address your Fire Lord this way! Your loyalty is to our nation first, anything less makes you a traitor.”_
> 
> _“Don't do this Sozin, don't challenge me, it will only end badly. It's over."_
> 
> _I couldn’t let that insubordination stand. I threw fire at him, but he vanished before my flames. Moments later he popped up from the ground behind me, and suspended me from a pillar of stone._
> 
> _He flattened the palace with his air bending, and flew up to look me in the eye as he threatened me “I’m sparing you, Sozin. I’m letting you go in the name of our past friendship. But I warn you, even a single step out of line will result in your permanent end.”_
> 
> _I didn’t see him again for twenty five years. Not until the volcano erupted._
> 
> _Roku's island was 100 miles away, but I could still feel it rumbling, and see the black plume of smoke. I had never seen anything like this catastrophe._
> 
> _I flew over on my dragon to offer him help “Need a hand old friend?”_
> 
> _“Sozin?”_
> 
> _“There’s not a moment to waste.”_
> 
> _We worked together to try and stop the flow of lava, but it quickly overwhelmed us. We ran, dodging through geysers of gas. Roku warned me not to breathe it, but right then a hole opened in the ground before him and he was doused in the toxins. He collapsed coughing, and held out a hand to me, begging for help._
> 
> _“Without you, all my plans are suddenly possible. I have a vision for the future Roku." I left him there to die._
> 
> _With Roku gone and the great comet returning, the timing was perfect to change the world. I knew the next Avatar would be born an air nomad, so I wiped out the air temples, but somehow the new Avatar eluded me. I wasted the remainder of my life searching in vain. I know he's hiding out there somewhere: the Fire Nation's greatest threat, the last air bender._

Zuko reaches the end of the scroll, and looks at the back "That can't be it! Where's the rest of it?" He gets up, angrily.

· And if you close your eyes ·  
· Does it almost feel like ·  
· You've been here before? ·

The early morning sun just peeks over the horizon as Zuko slips into the prison. He opens the door to the room with Iroh’s cell, and slams it behind him.

"You sent this, didn't you?" He holds up the scroll "I found the secret history, which by the way, should be renamed the history most people already know! The note said I needed to know about my great grandfather's death, but he was still alive in the end!"

Iroh looks up at Zuko, for the first time since their return to Caldera "No, he wasn't."

"What are you talking about?"

"You have more than one great grandfather, Prince Zuko. Sozin was your father's grandfather. Your mother's grandfather was Avatar Roku."

 _No. No!_ "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because understanding the struggle between your two great grandfathers can help you better understand the battle within yourself."

Zuko collapses to his knees, head in his hands.

"Evil and good are always at war inside you Zuko, it is your nature, your legacy. But, there is a bright side. What happened generations ago can be resolved now, by you. Because of your legacy, you alone can cleanse the sins of our family and the Fire Nation. Born in you, along with all the strife, is the power to restore balance to the world."

He gets up and slides a brick from the wall, pulling an object wrapped in cloth from behind it. He unwraps it as he walks to the bars Zuko sits behind. Zuko stands up.

"This is a royal artifact,” The cloth falls away, and Zuko sees what it is. “it's supposed to be worn by the Crown Prince."

Iroh holds it out, and Zuko reaches through the bars of the prison for the crown, worn by Sozin in his childhood, and later by Roku. The representation of everything that Zuko is: descendent of Sozin, descendent of Roku, betrayer and betrayed, Crown Prince of the Fire Nation.

· How am I gonna be an optimist about this? ·  
· How am I gonna be an optimist about this? ·

After the revelations about his family history, Zuko has been feeling off kilter. There’s no one he can talk to about it all, and he doesn’t know what to do besides keep up appearances. Maybe today he can have a normal day. He has plans to spend it visiting Mei, so it may well work out without any dramatic revelations delivered by mysterious figures, or frustrating meddling by his sister. 

Zuko gets up, and servants bring him his robe and dress him. The other servants mill around, trying to offer him an assortment of things, used to pleasing the whims of royalty. One offers him fresh fruit, another to wash his feet, yet another offers a head massage. He turns then down with a brief shake of his head. One offers a hot towel, he pauses to consider, and accepts. 

_This is what’s expected of me._

He walks out the front gates of the palace, where guards hold back a crowd of people. He smiles and waves.

The palanquin bearers show up. "Prince Zuko, is something wrong? You didn't take the palanquin."

"I'm just going to Mei's house, it's not far."

"It's not a Prince's place to walk anywhere, sir."

_I miss Ba SIng Se. Working at the tea shop with Uncle was nice, I could go wherever I wanted to on my own two feet._

Zuko gets on the palanquin, and they carry him across the street, to Mei's house. Mei waves, and he gets out and goes inside.

They’re sitting around on the couch being sappy, Zuko laying back with Mei curled up snuggling him, chatting about meaningless things.

"Tell me: if you could have anything you wanted right now, what would it be?"

"Hmm, a big fancy fruit tart, with rose petals on top."

"You know, being a Prince and all, I might just be able to make that happen."

"Hehe, that would be impressive."

Zuko sits up and addresses a servant "Do you think you could find a fresh fruit tart for the lady, with rose petals on top?"

"Excellent choice sir."

Mei smiles at him as they lay back down "I guess there's some nice perks that come with being royalty. Though there's annoying stuff too, like that all day war meeting coming up."

Zuko abruptly sits up at her words "War meeting? What are you talking about?"

"Azula mentioned something, I, I assumed you were going too."

"I guess I wasn't invited."

_Well, so much for a normal day._

Zuko walks into the royal bathhouse, to talk to Azula. She's laying back, with 2 servants combing her hair.

"Hello Zuzu, if you've come for a royal hair combing I'm afraid you'll have to wait."

"So I guess there's a big war meeting coming up huh, and apparently I'm not welcome there."

"What do you mean, of course you're welcome there."

"Oh yeah? I guess that's why no one bothered to tell me about it."

"Oh Zuko, don't be so dramatic. I'm certain dad wants you there. You probably just weren't invited cause it's so obvious that you're supposed to be there."

"Well, were you invited?"

"Of course, I'm the Princess."

_See, that’s my point!_

"And I'm the Prince."

"Exactly, so stop acting like a paranoid child. Just go to the meeting."

_That wasn’t what I meant! Whatever, I wasn’t invited, so I just won’t go._

"Forget it, I'm not going." He turns and walks out, his mind made up.

Zuko stands in Mei's window that night, staring out at the palace. Mei walks up to him.

"Zuko, it's just a dumb meeting, who cares." She puts a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't." He does.

"Well good. You shouldn't. I mean, why would you even want to go. Just think about how things went at the last war meeting you went to."

He sighs, well aware. "I know."

_How could I not? It’s on my face, I’ll never forget that day. But that’s why it’s so important. That’s why I care. Azula’s going, and I wasn’t even invited. I’m older than her!_

"You know what will make you feel better? Ordering some servants around, I might be hungry-"

He zones out and stops listening, too caught up in his own head.

_Is this some kind of power play? Did Azula meddle with the invitations to mess with me? Did dad not invite me because he doesn’t want me there? Or did he not invite me because he thinks I don’t want to be there?_

> _Zuko sits beside Uncle Iroh in a war meeting he’s not supposed to be at. He knows he must keep quiet, but as the General suggests a terrible plan Zuko finds that he can’t. He stands and yells at the General._

She puts a hand on his face to turn it towards her, and sees his expression. Almost a scowl, but with more sorrow in it. She drops her hand, and he turns back away. Her face drops, and she removes her other hand from his back.

The next day Zuko is at Mei's house again, moping on the couch. Mei makes tea beside him, and is going to hand him a cup when a servant walks in.

"Prince Zuko, everyone's waiting for you."

"What?" Zuko and Mei both get up, and walk towards the servant.

"The High Admirals, High Generals, the War Ministers, and the Princess have all arrived. You're the only person missing."

Mei turns to look at Zuko, her expression somehow both proud and smug.

"So, my dad wants me at the meeting?"

"The Fire Lord said he would not start until you arrive, sir."

Zuko smiles, and looks at Mei.

_He does want me there!_

"Welcome prince Zuko. We waited for you." Ozai gestures to his right as Zuko approaches and up the stairs. Zuko bows and sits there, beside him, as Ozai turns back to the war table. "General Shinu, your report."

_Why did he put me on his right? Is it supposed to be a gesture of my importance? Or is it because of my scar? From his seat it has to be all he can see of my face. Oh, Angi, he’s so close to me._

Shinu bows "Thank you, Sir. Ba Sing Se is still under our control, however, earth bender rebellions have prevented us from achieving total victory in the Earth Kingdom."

"What is your recommendation?" Ozai asks.

_I can’t see him. I can’t see well out of my left eye. Does he know that? Is that part of why he put me here? To put me on edge? Or does he not realise how much damage he did?_

Shinu gestures at the war table "Our army is spread too thin, but once the eclipse is over and the invasion defeated, we should transfer more domestic forces into the Earth Kingdom."

Ozai turns and looks at Zuko "Hmm. Prince Zuko, you've been among the Earth Kingdom commoners. Do you think that adding more troops will stop these rebellions?"

_What? I didn’t expect him to call on me. I don’t… What do I say? No, adding more troops will only make them rebel more._

Zuko steals himself, and speaks. "The people of the Earth Kingdom are proud and strong. They can endure anything, as long as they have hope."

_Oh thank the spirits that came out okay._

Ozai hums to himself and smiles. "Yes, you're right. We need to destroy their hope."

"Well, that's not exactly what I-"

Azula chimes in "I think you should take their precious hope, and the rest of their land, and burn it all to the ground."

"Yes, yes you're right Azula. Sozin's comet is almost upon us, and on that day will endow us with the strength and power of a hundred suns. No bender will stand a chance against us." Ozai’s eyes glint with fire as he speaks.

The General looks confused "What are you suggesting, Sir?"

"When the comet last came, my grandfather Fire Lord Sozin used it to wipe out the Air Nomads. Now, I will use its power to end the Earth Kingdom. Permanently.” The last word comes out of Ozai’s mouth as a snarl.

> _Zuko stands up from beside Uncle Iroh, and yells at General Bujing. He knows he shouldn’t, he’s not supposed to be at the war meeting. The words pour from his mouth like duty: duty to his nation, to his people._
> 
> _As he speaks the fire before his Father grows higher, heat suffocating, and Ozai tells him that he has been disrespectful. Tells him that he must fight an Agni Kai. Zuko looks at the old General, and says that he is not afraid. He knows that it is his duty to speak, his love of the people that moved him. And he will fight General Bujing for the people too._
> 
> _If only he had known._

“From our airships we will rain fire over their lands, a fire that will destroy everything. And out of the ashes, a new world will be born, a world in which all the lands are Fire Nation, and I am the supreme ruler of everything!"

_I should say something, I should try to stop this!_

> _Zuko pleaded for forgiveness as Ozai walked towards him. He tried to forfeit, falling to his knees. As his Father demanded he fight, Zuko bent over, prostrated himself on the ground, and refused. He begged for mercy._
> 
> _Zuko looked up, tears streaming down his face, and then all he saw was the fire burning._

Zuko freezes in his place, trying to keep his face steady, fear in his eyes and his heart racing. His Father’s right hand at his side is mere feet from Zuko’s face: mere feet from the scar it made.

 _He put me here on purpose. He didn’t invite me so I would be late, so I would be thrown off kilter. He wants me to be cowering in fear, quiet and complacent, and I_ **_am._ ** _How did I even get to this point? Why did I think any of this was a good idea?_

Zuko walks out of the war meeting stiffly.

Mei is leaning on a pillar, as he walks by she pushes herself forward and walks with him "So, how did it go."

"When I got to the meeting, everyone welcomed me. My Father had saved me a seat, he wanted me next to him. I was **literally** at his right hand."

"Zuko that's wonderful. You must be happy."

They come to a stop in front of the tapestry of Ozai. It’s a grandiose monstrosity, almost a caricature of the man, looming over the hall.

_How have we spent so long as a nation looking up to warmongers as idols? These tapestries are a celebration of all our nation’s greatest failures._

"During the meeting I was the perfect Prince, the son my Father wanted. But I wasn't me."

_I was obedient and respectful. I spoke only when spoken to. I showed him just how well I’d learned his Lesson._

_I wish I hadn’t._

· Oh where do we begin? ·  
· The rubble or our sins? ·

_I can’t stay here, saying nothing. I can’t face Father again in silence. No, I won’t. I don’t want to be here, I don’t want to be a Prince, I don’t want to be his son._

The sun rose that morning with all the self importance of a cat that knew it would get a midday nap.

Zuko stands in his room, alone, as he slips off his crown. He unties his top knot, and his hair falls around his face, how it was in Ba Sing Se. How it was when he was happy. He takes off his armor, and sits down at his desk to write a letter.

_Mei won’t like this, but it's better this way. It’s better that she has proof I abandoned her too. Proof she wasn’t involved._

He takes the letter and walks over to Mei's house. The streets are empty, the only people in the city are the army, all posted along the winding road from the port up to Caldera, prepared for the eclipse. The residents of Capital City had been forewarned for a long time.

In the hall to Mei’s room he pauses by a painting of the two of them together, and whispers "I'm sorry Mei"

He knows it’s as close to a goodbye as they’re going to get.

Setting the letter down on her bed, he turns and leaves.

Back in his room Zuko kneels before a portrait of his mom, candles on either side, his eyes closed.

"I know I've made some bad choices, but today I'm gonna set things right." His voice is barely above a whisper.

_The greatest mistake of my life was turning against Uncle. He’s been more of a father to me than Ozai ever was. Maybe, together, we can do some good in the world. Like he always tried to tell me to do._

He gets up, grabs his swords and bag. He turns to the door, but takes one last look at his mom's portrait before he puts up his hood.

· Oh where do we begin? ·  
· The rubble or our sins? ·

Zuko slips carefully through the underground bunker, the eclipse about to start. He comes to stand before an unembellished door. 

Ozai isn't in the throne room. Nor is he in the duplicate down here in the bunker with it’s gaudy Fire Nation insignia emblazoned on the door, practically screaming ‘the Fire Lord is in here’. No, Azula is there, waiting for the Avatar.

"I'm ready to face you." Zuko says to himself, and pushes open the door.

It's a small room, less ornamented than much of the Fire Palace. Ozai sits on a rug drinking tea, with twelve guards.

"Prince Zuko. What are you doing here?"

Zuko walks towards Ozai, stopping before the line of guards. "I'm here to tell the truth."

"Telling the truth during the middle of an eclipse. This should be interesting." Ozai waves his hand to dismiss his guards. They all leave, without even a second glance.

"First of all: in Ba Sing Se, it was Azula who took down the Avatar, not me."

"Why would she lie to me about that?"

"Because the Avatar's not dead. He survived."

"What?!"

"In fact, he's probably leading this invasion. He could be on his way here right now."

Ozai stands up and points towards the door. "Get out! Get out of my sight right now if you know what's good for you."

"That's another thing. I'm not taking orders from you anymore."

"You will obey me, or this defiant breath will be your last." He snarls, stepping forward

"Think again." Zuko draws his swords "I am going to speak my mind, and **you** are going to **listen**."

Ozai sits back down.

· And the walls kept tumbling down ·  
· In the city that we love ·

"For so long all I wanted was for you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor I wanted, but really I was just trying to please you." Zuko puts his right foot forward, turns his torso, pointing a sword towards Ozai.

"You, my Father, who banished me just for talking out of turn. My Father," he thrusts his sword forward at Ozai accusingly "who challenged me, a 13 year old boy, to an agni kai. How can you possibly justify a duel with a child?!"

"It was to teach you respect."

"It was cruel, and it was wrong."

"Then you've learned nothing."

"No, I've learned everything," he swings his sword down in an arc, cutting through the air with a whistling sound "and I've had to learn it on my own. Growing up, we were taught that the fire nation was the greatest civilization in history, and somehow the war was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world.” He takes a breath.

“What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness, they **hate** us. And we deserve it. We've created an era of fear in the world, and if we don't want the world to destroy itself we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness."

"Hahaha! Your Uncle has gotten to you, hasn't he."

Zuko smiles, not softly, but fiercely with love. The kind of love that is angry and righteous, the kind of love that knows it’s own self worth. "Yes. He has."

Ozai frowns.

"After I leave here today, I'm gonna free Uncle Iroh from his prison, and I'm gonna beg for his forgiveness. He's the one who's been a real father to me."

"Haha that's just beautiful. Maybe he can pass down to you the ways of tea and failure."

"But I've come to an even more important decision. I'm going to join the Avatar, and I'm going to help him defeat you."

"Really? Since you're a full blown traitor now and you want me gone, why wait? I'm powerless, you've got your swords, why not just do it now?"

"Because I know my own destiny. Taking you down is the Avatars destiny. Goodbye." He sheaths his swords and walks away.

Ozai starts talking, trying to hit a nerve, trying to get Zuko to stop walking. Trying to get him to stay "Coward. You think you're brave enough to face me but you'll only do it during the eclipse. If you have any real courage you'll stick around until the sun comes out."

Zuko is unaffected, until Ozai drops his voice to a low growl and says "Don't you want to know what happened to your mother?"

· Grey clouds roll over the hills ·  
· Bringing darkness from above ·

> _In the middle of the night Zuko wakes up to Ursa’s hand on his shoulder._
> 
> _“Mom?” he asks, sleepily._
> 
> _“Zuko, please my love, listen to me. Everything I’ve done I’ve done to protect you. Remember this Zuko: no matter how things seem to change, never forget who you are.”_
> 
> _She gets up and walks away, with a soft smile on her face as she turns her head and puts up her hood._
> 
> _When Zuko wakes up in the morning, he’s alone. He remembers his mother’s visit during the night._
> 
> _“Mom?” He asks the empty air, to no reply._
> 
> _Getting up he runs out of his room, still calling for her. The curtains along the walkway blow in the wind like a dream. As he gets to the end, he notices Azula leaning on a pillar._
> 
> _“Where's mom?” He asks her._
> 
> _“No one knows. Oh, and last night, grandpa passed away.”_
> 
> _“Not funny Azula, you’re sick. And I want my knife back, now.”_
> 
> _He reaches for it, but she pushes him over._
> 
> _“Who’s going to make me? Mom?”_
> 
> _Zuko runs away, out to the pond where Ozai stands, staring at the water._
> 
> _“Where is she?!” Zuko demands._
> 
> _Ozai doesn’t reply, doesn’t even turn to look at Zuko._
> 
> _At the funeral they wear white, and Ozai is crowned._

He stops. And turns back around to face his father. Ozai smirks, knowing that his gamble for time succeeded.

· But if you close your eyes ·  
· Does it almost feel like ·  
· Nothing changed at all? ·

"What happened that night?"

"My father, Fire Lord Azulon, had commanded me to do the unthinkable, to you, my own son. And I was going to do it. Your mother found out, and swore she would protect you at any cost. She knew I wanted the throne, and she proposed a plan, a plan in which I would become firelord, and your life would be spared." Zuko narrows his eyes "Your mother did vicious treasonous things that night. She knew the consequences and accepted them. For her treason she was banished."

"So she's alive." His voice cracks, and a tear rolls down his face.

"Perhaps. Now I realise that banishment is far too merciful a penalty for treason, your penalty will be far steeper."

· And if you close your eyes ·  
· Does it almost feel like ·  
· You've been here before? ·

Ozai stalled just long enough for the eclipse to end. As he feels his power return, he grabs lightning with both his hands like whips. He pulls it in circles at his sides, from the front up and over backwards, and pulls his arms down and together at his front as he lunges. The lightning arcs around him and comes together at his hands.

_Iroh’s voice speaks in Zuko’s memory:_

> _“If you let the energy in your own body flow, the lightning will follow it. You must create a pathway from your fingertips, up your arm to your shoulder, then down into your stomach. The stomach is the source of energy in your body. It is called the sea of Chi._
> 
> _“From the stomach, you direct it up again and out the other arm. The stomach detour is critical, you must not let the lightning pass through your heart, or the damage could be deadly. You may wish to try a physical motion, to get a feel for the pathway’s flow, like this._
> 
> _“Now, are you focusing your energy? Can you feel your own Qi flowing in, down, up, and out?”_
> 
> _Zuko spent all that day practicing, and as the sun sets Iroh tells him he’s got it._
> 
> _“Great, I’m ready to try with real lightning!” Determination glints in Zuko’s eyes._
> 
> _Iroh looks at him in shock._
> 
> _“What, are you crazy? Lightning is very dangerous.”_

Ozai shoots the lightning directly at Zuko, meant to be a killing blow.

> _“I thought that was the point, you teaching me how to protect myself from it.”_
> 
> _“Yeah, but I’m not going to shoot lightning at you. If you’re lucky you won’t ever have to use this technique at all.”_
> 
> _“Well if you won’t help me, I’ll find my own lightning.”_
> 
> _Zuko stands alone on a mountaintop, rain coming down sideways. He screams at the sky to strike him down._
> 
> _“You’ve always thrown everything you could at me. Well I can take it, and now I can give it back!”_
> 
> _Lightning crashes ahead of him on nearby mountains, but not where he stands._
> 
> _“Go on, strike me! You've never held back before!”_
> 
> _Tears pour from his eyes, mixing with the rain streaming down his face. He collapses to his knees and lets out a guttural scream at the sky._

Zuko catches the lightning with both hands, sliding backwards from the force of it. He grits his teeth, skids to a stop in a fighting stance, and points one hand at Ozai. Ozai's lightning shoots back at him, hitting the ground at his feet with an explosion that throws Ozai backwards to the wall and lights the floor aflame in front of him. He collapses on the ground with a grunt, and Zuko runs. 

· How am I gonna be an optimist about this? ·  
· How am I gonna be an optimist about this? ·

Fear pounds in his heart as Zuko runs to the prison in a full tilt sprint. There are craters in the prison walls. He passes a guard laying on the ground, alive but injured, and the man cowers as he runs by.

_What happened here? Surely the invasion didn’t come to the prison? I hope Uncle is okay._

“Uncle!” Zuko yells as he gets to the door to Iroh's cell, and then sees the metal bars are busted open. His breath catches in his throat, and he looks around. Seeing another guard lying on the floor, Zuko grabs him and shakes him.

"Where is my Uncle?" He asks, desperation in his voice.

The guard looks up at him, his eyes haunted. "He's gone, he busted himself out. I- I've never seen anything like it, he was like a one man army!"

_He’s… gone?_

Zuko’s hand releases from the man’s collar, dropping him to the floor. He stands and takes a step backwards, before turning and running back out of the prison.

_I’m too late! Why did I stay when Father was goading me? I knew I should have kept walking. He didn’t even give me a proper answer, he just played me! If I’d thought it through I would have been out in time, I wouldn’t have missed Uncle._

_I was going to apologize, to tell him he was right, to tell him he’s been more of a father to me than Ozai ever was… oh, but I told Ozai that. That’s great, I spent all my time and energy on him again, when Iroh was right there the whole time. Uncle still thinks I failed him in Ba Sing Se. And I did._

_I’m not going to be able to find him, am I? What do I do? What can I do? I suppose just follow through on the rest of my plan. I said I’d break Uncle out of prison and join the Avatar. Well, Uncle broke himself out, so I’ll just find the Avatar, and teach him firebending._

_Maybe when all this is over, I’ll get a chance to apologize to Uncle. Even if he doesn’t forgive me. I just want to let him know that he didn’t fail me. He saved me from thinking this was where I was supposed to be._

_Until then, I’ll choose good. Like he asked me to in Ba Sing Se._

· If you close your eyes ·  
· Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all? ·

Zuko stands alone on a stolen Fire Nation war balloon, leaning against the railing. The eclipse has passed, the sun full in the sky again. Behind him is a place he once thought was home. Ahead of him: the Avatar.

**Author's Note:**

> This is part one of a series I have planned which Will be going off the rails and canon-divergent, so stick around if that sounds like your alley. No update schedule on that front because Time is an Illusion!
> 
> I'm happy to hear feedback or critique, I am absolutely treating this as practice for my original works :)
> 
> If you're 18, I'm on [tumblr](http://ethemreal.tumblr.com)


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